Why Michael Lorenzen Should be your Favorite Player

Baseball is very interesting. In fact so interesting that a pitcher can be the best power hitter in the MLB. Well, in 2018 he was. Meet Michael Lorenzen, my favorite weird player. By the end of this article I will explain why he was the best power hitter in baseball, he is the best player in baseball, and why you should be a fan of his. But first, let’s meet him.

Michael Lorenzen was born on January 4, 1992 in Anaheim California. While most didn’t know it at the time, your favorite player was born. And no, I am not talking about Kris Bryant who was also born that day. He went to Fullerton Union HS, and I also found out that Walter Johnson went there too, as well as Arky Vaughn. They’ve had a total of 2 hall-of-famers, and 1 Michael-Famer, a word that I made up. When he graduated high school, he went to California State University Fullerton, which, let’s face it, nobody’s heard of. There have been a total of 17 players that went to the All-Star game, and still only one in the Michael-Fame. He was drafted in the 1st round of the 2013 Draft, and he signed with the Reds.

He skipped through the minors, and in 2015 he was in the MLB. How did he do in 2015? Not great. He went 4-9 with a 5.40 ERA. In 2015 he went up to the plate 41 times, but he had 36 AB. He got 9 hits and unfortunately, no homers. In 2016 he became a reliever, and he went 2-1 with a 2.88 ERA. The only downside is that wen you are a reliever, you don’t get to hit, but Lorenzen did get 5 AB. He had 1 hit, which was a home run.

But in 2017 he slumped. All though it didn’t look like it at 8-4, he only hit .167 in 12 AB. He only got 2 hits, one of which was a home run. That brings us to 2018. In 2018 he had the best year of his career, and he wasn’t better than 2016. But, how? His pitching was good, as he went 4-2 with a 3.11 ERA. But batting, that was just another level. He had 34 PA, and 31 AB. And he got 9 hits, 4 of which were home runs. He had an OPS of 1.043. And somehow this stat line, while good, made him the best power hitter, and best player in the MLB. Let’s find out why.

In 2018 Khris Davis led the AL in HR/AB with 12.0, and Michael Lorenzen led the NL with 7.75. That is the best all-time, and no, we are not counting 1 AB, 1 HR guys. AB/HR measures the frequency of how much a player hits a home run. So we need to calculate Lorenzen’s AB over 135 games (135 games because I think that that is an average amount) and then even out the home runs. Lorenzen played in 54 games, and he had 31 AB. 31/54 is 0.57, so that means that he gets 0.57 AB/game. Now, let’s assume that he plays in 135 games, and he has 0.57 AB/game. We need to multiply the numbers together, and he has 77 AB. Now, let’s calculate how many homers he has.

We have to do 77 AB/7.75 HR/AB. The result rounded is 10. In 77 AB, he hit 10 home runs. That’s incredible. Step 2 is to calculate how many homers he would have in a 400 AB season. That’s pretty easy: we just take 400/7.75. That is 52 home runs. To put that into perspective, Aaron Judge hit 52 homers in 2017, but he had 542 AB. Now let’s see what would’ve happened if Lorenzen had 542 AB. He would’ve hit 70 home runs. That’s how insane this is.

Now that we know that he is the best power hitter in baseball, let me cover why he is the best player in the MLB. Imagine this: Every player has their own team consisting of just themselves at every position. Now most batters can’t pitch, and most pitchers can’t bat. Some clear teams that would rise to the top are the Oh! Tan! (Shohei Ohtani) Mad Bum (Madison Baumgarner) and I’m Cold Lord (Michael Lorenzen). In 2018 I’m Cold Lord would’ve been the most balanced, as he doesn’t fall off in batting or pitching. Therefore, he would’ve won. Let’s talk about it.

Let’s say You’ve Been Judged (Aaron Judge) is playing I’m Cold Lord. It would be such a blowout, and this is why: pitching. Sure, Aaron Judge would get some runs, because he’s Aaron Judge. But he can’t pitch. So it would end ∞-100. Lorenzen would easily blast You’ve been Judged, and since Lorenzen can play more positions than Judge can (Lorenzen: P, LF, CF, RF Judge: RF), Lorenzen is a better fielder. Lorenzen wins 2/3. Now: it’s the championship. It’s the Oh! Tan!s vs. I’m Cold Lord. This is set to be a showdown. This is why It’s Cold Lord will win:

-Lorenzen can hit better than Ohtani

•Ohtani hit .285 with 22 homers in 326 AB

•Lorenzen (adjusted stats to Ohtani’s AB) hit .290 with 42 homers in 326 AB

-Lorenzen can pitch better than Ohtani

•Ohtani went 4-2 with a 3.31 ERA

•Lorenzen went 4-2 with a 3.11 ERA

-Lorenzen can play more positions than Ohtani

•Ohtani plays only P and DH

•Lorenzen plays P and LF, CF, and RF

Lorenzen wins 3/3, and he wins the championship. Michael Lorenzen is now the best player in the MLB.

Now let me cover why you should be a fan.

-You would be cool saying that you like the best player in baseball, and when people ask who it is, you say Michael Lorenzen. The would ask ‘What?’, and then 30 seconds later Michael Lorenzen is their favorite player too.

-Michael Lorenzen is the best hitting pitcher in the MLB, therefore the next Babe Ruth.

-He even started to play OF because the Reds love him, and they have more experience than you.

-When the Michael Fame is started you will be able to show the person at the door this article and you will be let in free.

-His birthday is very soon.

That is why Michael Lorenzen is my favorite player, and if I haven’t convinced you, then you think that your favorite team will never win a World Series again.

The reason that this is my first article in a week is that I am on vacation, and more articles will come out starting Sunday/Monday. Thanks!

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